Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond... NEWSLETTER THE CHANGING TIMES is a resource of helpful tips, information and stories, with insight into the care of your infant(s), and the development of your toddler. You will share experiences with other parents through their anecdotes, and The Changing Times will keep you informed of family-friendly community events and services within the greater Kingston area. THE CHANGING TIMES is published quarterly by Childbirth Kingston and is distributed to over 400 families. The publication is available at no charge to health care providers and childbirth educators. Participants in Childbirth Kingston’s Prenatal classes are offered a one-year subscription upon registration. THE CHANGING TIMES welcomes and encourages manuscripts, art, and photo contributions. Submissions may be edited. Statements, opinions and points of view expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent those of the organisation. Nurturing Touch: Instruction in the Art of Infant Massage By Susan Sheedy Infant massage helps parents learn how to read their infant’s cues and respond to their baby more readily. It also enhances the parent-infant relationship. It provides at time of day when the parent is totally focused on the baby. Benefits of Infant Massage Stimulation of all the physiological systems of the body i.e. circulatory, nervous and gastrointestinal Relieves stress through increased relaxation both for the infant and for the parent Helps increase healthy parent - infant interaction and increases bonding. A means of communication between the caregiver and the baby Increases awareness of infant’s cues Helps the parent learn how to respond to the baby’s needs Helps synchronize interchange between the two Helps the baby feel increased trust and security when the contact is reassuring and pleasurable Provides a time of quiet focus Provides sensory stimulation which is necessary for growth and development Helps facilitate motor co-ordination Helps regulate sleep patterns Helps strengthen the immune system Infant Cues Your baby used cues to tell you what he needs. At times, your baby may be "willing" to engage with you; at other times he may be "unwilling". There may be a mixture of both willingness and unwillingness cues. Watch your baby and respond to the cues that appear most prominent. As you interact with your baby, he may change the cues he is giving to you. For example, he may express some unwillingness cues, such as turning away, fussing and avoiding eye contact. You respond by reducing the amount of stimulation, perhaps pausing and just holding the area being massaged. Your baby reacts by turning back toward you, engaging in eye and face contact, and letting you know that he is ready to resume the massage interaction. At other times, his cues will signal the need for a cuddle break or to end the massage. Willingness Cues: Eye contact Looking at your face Stilling (stops moving) Smooth movement of arms and legs Turning eyes or head toward you Smiling Babbling, talking, cooing sounds Raising head or reaching out to you Eyes wide and bright Hand to mouth Unwillingness Cues: Fussiness/Crying Turning head away Coughing/Choking sounds Frowning or grimacing face Strong back arching Eyes turning away or dull looking Spitting up/Vomiting Pulling away/Squirming/Kicking Hiccoughs Wrinkled forehead Listening to Baby During the massage, your baby may "have a story to tell" and you may choose to "listen" to what the baby has to say. Babies are so sensitive and are going through an amazing number of adjustments within the first year of their lives. Even though you may not understand his story, you may accept what he is communicating now, before he speaks with words. He may tell his story through various types of cries or by making sounds. Usually this is accompanied by a willingness to make eye contact at the same time, as though he is reaching out to be seen and heard. By listening with your heart in this way you let him know that he is respected and cared for, and that he and his feelings are important. Remember, in listening to your baby... Take long, deep breaths and relax. Clear your thoughts and place all your attention on your baby. It may be appropriate to stop the massage and just focus on his story, maintaining your touch by placing your hand gently and securely on his body. Connect with your baby, and if possible, establish eye-to-eye contact. Let him know you are there to listen with your heart and mind. As your baby eneds, offer the comfort and security of rocking, caressing or walking. If your baby has shared or released feelings through strong crying, make certain you give the support of living reassurance and nurturing touch. Afterwards, you may choose to resume the massage interaction, depending on the needs of both you and your baby. In conclusion... Teaching by example is the most effective way to teach our children. Let your massage time teach qualities and values that may last a lifetime. Include in your time together expressions of Love, Respect, Compassion, Kindness, Trust, Security, Self-esteem, Sincerity. Touch is your baby’s first language. Through the nurturing touch of infant massage, you communicate deep love and respect to your baby in a language he or she understands well. Susan Sheedy is a Registered Massage Therapist in Kingston. Decorating the Nursery By Elizabeth Munro Decorating the nursery can be as simple as setting up the crib and making space in the closet for the new arrival’s belongings or as complicated as building an addition onto the house. Regardless of the extent to which you choose to ready the room for a new baby you will probably want to consider the function of the room, the style of the furnishings and creating an overall pleasing environment. In order to achieve these goals there are basic elements you may consider: colour, scale, texture, line, pattern and wit. The following ideas and suggestions are just that ideas ad suggestions. There are no rules in decorating; these are only guidelines that are meant to take the mystery out of putting it all together. Starting with a blank canvas can seem overwhelming. Therefore, people often jump into the decorating process b committing to something (e.g. paint colour) without considering the whole room, and before they know it they are spending hours searching for that lavender coloured crib skirt with aqua stripes to pull the draperies and the wallpaper together. The following tips are meant to help bring a room together so it is pleasing to be in and functions the way it is meant to. Inspiration: Choose something you love. It may be a painting, a piece of fabric, a children’s storybook, a movie, anything at all that inspires you and that you can build on or pull ideas from. Consider the mood you would like to achieve in the room when looking for inspiration. Ask yourself, how do I want this room to make me feel? Do I want it to be soothing and restful or do I want to feel stimulated and energized? A Monet painting of water lilies in cool pastel blues and greens would appear very peaceful and relaxing whereas a Mickey Mouse wallpaper border in black, white and bright red would be intense, vibrant and stimulating. Style: The style of your room is determined by the style of your inspiration. A formal Victorian fabric looks great when it is paired with Victoria furniture as opposed to Ikea furniture. A barnyard wallpaper border would look great alongside primitive or country style wooden furniture made from pine with plaid and floral fabrics. You get the idea. Try to be consistent when buying objects for the room. Ask yourself, does this item represent the style of mood that I am trying to achieve in this room? If the answer is no then choose one that is, even if it isn’t your favourite. In the end the room will have a more cohesive style. Pattern: Once you have your starting point (your inspiration), the next step is to choose pain colours, fabric, furniture and accessories. All of these items will contain different patterns. The key to putting patterns together in a complementary way is to choose ones that are similar in style and colour scheme but different in scale. For example, if you start with a large all-over floral, add a medium-sized strip and a tiny floral along with a solid. Another example: imagine a wallpaper border is striped wall paper, on the windows there are curtains in solid navy piped in red and on the crib there is a solid blue skirt, stiped bumper pads to match the wallpaper and a quilt designed to look like sailboats. In this scenario blue and white ar the main colour and red is the accent colour, so additional items in the room should be predominantly blue and white and accents in red. Generally the more predominant the patterns are in the room the more stimulating the space will feel. Using subltle patterns willresult in a more soothing or restful room. Colour: The easiest way to create an atmosphere in any room is to paint. However, choosing a paint colour is one of the most difficult things to do for many reasons. For starter there are thousands of colours to choose from, so many just slightly different from the next that the job can seem overwhelming right away. Colour is relative; it must be compared to other colours surrounding it, e.g., the floor colour, the ceiling colour and other furnishings in the room like drperies or upholstered furniture. The amount of light and type of light (e.g. natural, incandescent or fluorescent) alter the appearance of a paint colour. So how do you choose? Believe it or not there is no one perfect colour for a room; many colours will work. Choose a paint colour after you have chosen your fabric, wallpaper and furniture. There are limited colours in those furnishings and thousands of hues so match the paint to the things not th things to the paint. Try using the background colour or the most prominent colour from your source of inspiration as your wall colour and use the other colours as guides for things such as drapery, bedding and upholstered furniture. By using the same colours in the same proportions that are in your source of inspiration you will achieve an overall look similar to your inspiration. Try placing the paint chip on the wall near the casing in a vertical position. You will find the colour appears darker because there is less light reflecting off the wall than off the floor. View the colour at different times of day with different types of light, keeping in mind the time of day the room will most often be used. Wet paint usually dries darker and almost always requires a tleast two coats; the darker the colour the more coats it takes to do the job. Try not to judge the colour too quickly. Once the whole room is painted and the furnishings are put in place, the wall colour should provide a backdrop, not necessarily be the ffocal point of the room. One of the most common mistakes people make when deciding on a paint colour is choosing a beautiful colour just because it is beautiful. A small vibrant paint chip compared to some of those more drab or subdued colour looks so much more pleasing to the eye, but what you have to remember si that sometimes less is more, that vibrant colour will be intensified when it is covering all four walls from floor to ceiling. The most common mistake people make when choosing a paint colour for a baby’s room is picking a colour that is too cool. The result is a room that feels very stark and uninviting. Cool colours are blue, green and purple as well as any colour that contains a lot of white. This means most pastel colours can ve bery cool even if they start out on the warm side. Warm colours include red, orange and yellow. This does not mean pale colours should not be used; just look for ones that have a warm base colour instead of white. If you cannot tell what the base colour is, try looking down the graduated paint chip to the deeper colours. These shades contain the same base colour but are more intense and easier to identify. Wit: Every well-designed room should have an element of wit or humour; the nursery is no exception. After all, everyone who comes to visit the new baby will want to see the nursery, so why not add an element of surprise or humour to the new room. This is where your personal style and sense of humour com into play. Maybe you will add some old baby photos of yourself to the room or a quirky quote about childhood or being a parent. Remember there are no rules, only guidelines. Tips: Invest in objects that have staying power and spend less money on trendy items. Example: furniture such as dressers and rocking chairs can be used in any room for many years whereas bedding with purple dinosaurs may only be in vogue for a few years. If you plan on installing expenseive draperies in the nursery choose something versatile that will grow with the child. You can never have too much storage space in a child’s room. Try storing items such as clothing according to size, on shelves where you can see them, so that baby doesn’t outgrow outfits before they are worn. Choose a theme that appeals to you; ultimately you are the one who will be enjoying the room. It will be a few years before baby has a good sense of his or her own style. Have a few sources of light in the room. You don’t want to have to turn on a bright overhead light when youa re trying to put baby to sleep at two in the morning. A dimmer switch is a good idea. Keep the baby’s viewpoint in mind when positioning things. Hang wallpaper and borders at a level that may be easily viewed from the crib. Instead of putin ga border at the top of the ceiling try hanging it level with the change table or a few feet from the ceiling with a shelf below for all those stuffed animals and things. Elizabeth Munro is an artist in Kingston and has worked as an interior decorator. Subscriptions and Advertisers: To subscribe or place an advertisement, please CONTACT US! Subscription costs are $8.00 per year or $15.00 for two years. Home | About Us | Prenatal Classes | Doula Registry | Events | Store | Volunteers | Links | Contact Us Childbirth Kingston Inc. 1135 Clyde Court, Unit #4, Kingston, Ontario K7P 2E4 Ph: 384-7774 Fx: 384-4140 Email: info@childbirthkingston.com Web site designed by MMB